5th January 2016

What I Learned About Being a Woman in 2015

Every time a new year rolls around, I find myself wistfully wondering: what did I learn this year that I can take into the next year? Most years, it’s very tangible things: I learned to crochet or how to do a certain type of animation. But this year? This year is all heady stuff about being a woman person.

THINGS I LEARNED ABOUT BEING A WOMAN IN 2015:

1. Being Brave Pays Off in Confidence. When self-help gurus and therapists and miscellaneous humans in your social circle talk about bravery, they are probably talking about going on a scary hike. Or running a marathon in the winter. Or confronting an estranged family member. Accomplishing those things will pay off in confidence - so the same principle is applied. But what they often aren’t talking about is those moments when you’re stretching beyond your own knowns and exploring the confines of your own emotional bandwidth. There is no hike in the world that is more scary than facing your demons. But facing them is worth it.

2. Friendship is NOT Optional. My girlfriends are the reason I am happy and healthy and feel full of hope. Isolating oneself doesn’t work. Friendship does. <3

3. Getting Sexed will not make you FEEL Sexier. As a single woman, it can be really easy to assume that getting laid will be the answer. One night stands and random make out sessions can be a blast. I am not anti-getting sexed. But do it for the right reason. And do it because it’s fun. The alternative is depressing.

4. You Can Live on Luna Bars, Coffee and Bananas. In the months when I wasn’t sure where I was living, I didn’t want to buy groceries, because storing them seemed like such a pain. For three months, this was my diet. I didn’t die.

5. Binging TV Will Actually Help You Get Over Your Ex. Every breakup requires an escape. For me, it’s always been a good TV show. Depending on how long the relationship lasted or how deep you got into it, you will need to pick a TV show that can heal those hurts. For me, it’s Sex and the City, Parks and Rec and Scandal. Always gets me through.

6. Happiness is a Practice. Make choices every day to be happy. Before you know it, it will add up like a savings account of joy. (With interest.)

7. Speaking Your Mind Comes with a Cost. You Should ALWAYS Pay It. When my mentor did the impossibly brave thing of coming out publicly as a whistleblower in a sex scandal, it blew my mind. Her public pain was on headlines across the country. But it caused change. It opened a conversation. She didn’t deserve it. But she did the right thing when she had to. For that, I admire the hell out of her.

8. Adventure is Never a Bad Idea. Planning my 5-week trip to Italy was easy. Actually getting on the plane to spend that many days alone in a foreign country was totally insane. I regret none of it.

9. When Things Don’t Go as Planned, Say Fuck the Plan. Nothing went as planned this year. It went better.

10. Dreams Aren’t Handed Out. They are Crafted, Created and Carefully Tended To. Four years ago, I started dreaming about starting my own business. Today, when I go to my office every day, I feel so proud that it actually happened. However, there were so many times where I’ve wanted to quit. Thank goodness I didn’t. Those moments were key. By pushing through the hard times, I made my dream even better.

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5th January 2016

What I Learned About Being a Woman in 2015

The End