Being Geek Chic is a blog about one woman navigating the male-dominated industries of production and tech. It's written by Elizabeth Giorgi, Founder, CEO and Director of Mighteor - one of the world's first internet video production companies. Learn more about Mighteor here.
I’m about to go on this big adventure. Like, really about to GO. I’ve got my passport in hand. I’ve triple checked all my bags to make sure I didn’t forget an umbrella or underwear or chargers of varying plugs and prods. I’m about to spend more than a month by myself in Italy. It started as a rescue. It turned into a writing sabbatical. And as I’m about to board this plane, I’m realizing it’s also a respite. But mostly, it’s a reaffirmation: I’m good.
I know I’ve hinted here and there at the truth the last few months on social media and even in between the paragraph tags on this blog, but it’s time for some truth telling. It starts like this, five months ago:
1. I was cheated on. I lost my home, my pet and my sense of self.
2. I lost my biggest video gig and the income that came with it.
3. I found myself living in an acquaintance’s spare bedroom in a city where I had NO connections beyond my ex.
So what did I do? I booked a 5 week trip to Italy.
I did it because I needed something positive to look forward to. I did it because I literally felt like I needed to escape my being. I did it because I could afford to and wanted to do it before I couldn’t anymore (aforementioned gig thing…) And I did it because I wanted to avoid all the big decisions.
The “Where am I going to live?” Decision.
The “Do I even want to live in this city?” Decision.
The “Do I want to continue to pursue my business or do something easy for a minute? Decision.
It was so much to process that I needed to do something drastic to keep myself from crying in my bed with my unpacked plushies.
It wasn’t logical. It was pure emotion. It was an attempt at self-rescue.
The pathways in my brain did a little neuron dance that went something like this: If I book this trip, AND I SOMEHOW MAKE IT TO AUGUST 19th ALIVE… I will go and heal my broken, wounded soul and come back and start making big girl decisions.
And in truth, the logic totally worked. I felt like I was doing something for myself. I felt like I was giving my heart a respite. I felt like I could go to sleep at night because there was this thing waiting for me if I could just make it to August.
And you know what happened?
Decisions just started happening because I started to feel confident enough to make them. The bravery I needed to muster to commit to doing a solo international trip was enough to rest my laurels on for days at a time. Soon, I decided where to live. I found a beautiful one bedroom apartment. I started reaching out to people I would have never dreamed of connecting with and made a ton of amazing new friends. And new projects came in at my business every week.
By committing to not making big decisions, I started living life more openly and with less fear of… well, fear. In other words, I just started doing whatever the hell I felt like in the moment. I road tripped to Utah and partied in Las Vegas and spread my Papa’s ashes in Northern Minnesota and rallied with my lady nerds at San Diego Comic Con and the weeks just went. And the fear dissipated. And the panic subsided. It was no longer about being rescued. It was about celebrating life.
And then it was August 19th.
My birthday is August 20th. So, there is that too.
I wanted to go to Italy so I had something to look forward to.
In the process, I built a life for myself that I look forward to returning to.
While I’m away, I’ll be checking in occasionally with little bits of information, but hold tight and enjoy a few things from the archives. I think you’ll find them lovely.
Thank you for being there for me these last few months, peeps. I love you all. Truly.
XOXO,
Liz
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