21st October 2015

Things You Aren’t Allowed to Say to Me

I’m a female CEO. In production. That caters to tech companies. This intersection of tech + production means I’m rare. Add the fact that I’m the boss onto all this and I’m like a pigeon with peacock tails. As a result, I hear a lot of weird shit. Weird shit I don’t want to hear anymore. So I thought I’d helpfully create a list.

1. Are you the Founder?

*This is almost always after I have introduced myself to them as, “Hi, I’m Liz, the founder of Mighteor.” I don’t know how to make it more clear that I am, in fact, the founder of my company.

2. Do you want to have a family?

*Most humans do. Did you ask the male founder over there that question?

3. Do you have men on your team?

*Yes. Of course I do. I also have women.

4. Do you have a technical counterpart?

*I operate cameras and edit and animate. I am technical. What is the counterpart to that? Production is a technical thing.

5. So is this a female empowerment thing?

*Seriously?

6. Are you the makeup artist?

*Fun fact: I know just as many male makeup artists as female makeup artists. They are are tremendously talented at their job. Their gender has nothing to do with it.

7. Oh no, you’re the hairdresser?

*See above. Same thing applies.

8. Do you want to get someone who can help me with this shot?

*I am the director. I approve shots. I will help you with the shot.

9. When will you have a family?

*See number 2.

10. How long do you want to do this startup thing?

*This one almost always comes on the tails of questions 2 or 9. I assume it’s because people think I will quit when I want to have a family.

That’s just my very quick list of things I’ve been asked in the last 6 months. I’d be curious to know if other women out there can add onto the list. I think we should. Consider this our PSA: things you don’t need to say to women in tech. Or production. Or tech production! Or in entrepreneurship!

Some people have asked why this is even a thing: It’s a thing because this is coded language. In the strictest sense: when you look at it as a series of words and punctuation, it doesn’t read as any kind of sexist or inflammatory language. But when taken in context with the larger questions at hand, it becomes clear that I’m being asked these questions BECAUSE I am a woman.

Together, we can make the world a little less ignorant.

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21st October 2015

Things You Aren’t Allowed to Say to Me

The End